Monday, May 25, 2009

Memorial day

Today Ambrose will be off of his pressure support all day.  
He had a bath and shampoo and has soft silky good smelling hair.  That was followed by a nice snuggle with Mommy, which was cut short due to an explosive diaper.
I try to mind my own business around here and generally have no idea what is going on with other patients. (Unless they are screaming and hollering like that kid a few weeks ago.) The staff is discreet and the rooms are private.   I try not to look in other rooms when I go by as I don't like it when people stare in at my baby.  I generally just have a sense if one is  a baby or a bigger kid and you can't help notice when there are large #s of medical personel hanging around a room. Every once in while I notice a room that had been a hotbed of activity is now vacant.  (I'm sure it happens much more often than I take notice of.) That just happened.  It is scary and sad.  I can't help but wonder and hope that maybe the child was transferred elsewhere but that is probably not the case as I know all too well.  I don't really want to be aware of children dying but it bothers me that it can happen without much notice, life just going on all around like nothing happened.  I wouldn't want to work here.  No one should get used to children dying.
I'm sorry to end on such a sad note.  I think I need to get out of here for a little while.

1 comment:

  1. Hi Hun, sounds like you are having a mentally rough day. Im sure all the nurses keep each and every child they loose in their hearts. They are like us and know that they tried their best to at least make them comfortable in the end. They also know that other precious children are waiting for their undevided attention, and that is what makes them so special, they keep going even though the losses probably tear them appart. When you hold our residents hand and give them the best care you can in their last moments, you know their are other residents that also need your love. Weather you are a nurse or an LNA loving and caring is what we do and we just keep going because we want to and have to.
    You are right, no one should get use to children dying, it just shouldnt have to happen. I want to let you know also, that on this memorial day I thought of your special Sophia, even though I didn't know her. You painted such a beautiful picture of her its almost like I do know her. I am keeping you all im my thought and prayers. I am so glad Ambrose is doing so well. I can't wait to hear that you will be comming home soon.
    hugs and love to you and Ambrose
    love, Rachel